Mindset! There's the answer, now you can stop reading or keep going because I'm going to dive a little deeper than that.
Those who say they can and those who say they can't are both right! I've trained hundreds of people over the last 12 years. I've had people lose 20, 50, and 100+ pounds while working with me! Do you know what they all had in common? Their mindset! Sure this may just sound like some gimmick bullshit, but what it comes down to is this. Is being in shape and getting better a priority to you, or are you just in the gym because you think you should be because it's "good for you"? Are you just going through the motions or are you trying to change the way you live?
The mind is a very powerful thing. I have had clients that wonder why they can't get progress when they don't listen to me. Then when I call them out on not following either the diet, workouts, or the small things in between. They give me the runaround about their stressful life, schedule, etc. Honestly, I'm human too, so I try to reason with them and be understanding of circumstances and avoid asking them to do things I wouldn't do myself because that is what we call a hypocrite. Let's dig a little bit deeper than that though, shall we?
The most common things I hear are lack of time, lack of will to cook, their schedule didn't allow it and they were too tired. There are 24 hours in a day. For simplicity's purpose, let's say they sleep 8 and work 8 in a day. That gives us 8 hours to work with the left in a day. Let's be even more generous and slap on an hour and a half for driving to and from places randomly as needed. Now we are left with 6.5 hours a day we have extra to use. Let's even take an hour for eating! Now we are at 5.5 extra hours a day! Throughout the week based on those generous numbers. We are left with 38.5 hours a week to ourselves. This is more than enough time to cook, workout and still have time to relax to yourself and do whatever you want.
Now here's the good part. When I ask clients what they do after work with their free time when they are struggling with results, I'll usually get the answer of "sit and watch T.V' or "I'm exhausted so I just chill". To me, this shows that they are mentally/physically burned out, lack time management skills, or are not truly trying to change themselves.
Now, why wouldn't we want to change ourselves when we know it's for the better? Raise your hand if someone specifically sat you down and taught you how to cook, the importance of taking care of your body, or how to manage your time? Not too many people have specifically taught these skills to us while growing so we develop our way of handling these things over time and get set in our ways! Then when it's time to make a change, people are stuck in their ways and subconsciously think and believe that they cant get results because they don't have the tools necessary to do so readily available.
Everyone has their own deeper reasons as to why they are stuck in their ways and if you get to know people on a deeper level they will be open about that. I've heard people mention that they are usually the caretaker of the house so they have developed the habit of not putting themself first. I've heard people say they are afraid to push themselves because of past injuries. I've heard people say they don't know if they are doing things right so they give up. I've heard people say they are just getting old so what is the point. I've heard people say they don't make the time for it when they know they should so they lack time management. There are many more I've heard they all boil down to one thing.
Mindset! All of the things I hear as excuses are ingrained habits and mindsets that they've developed through the stresses of life to handle whatever obstacles have come their way. Now because of all the shit that comes with life, it wires people's brains to think and act a certain way and stick with what's comfortable. Changing the way you think and view is not an easy task, you have to do it consciously. It's not comfortable and it's not easy and it takes some work! Have you ever tried to change someone's mind about the gym being fun and joyful when they see it as a chore? It's not easy.
You have to look deeper than just "It's hard". You have to look inside yourself and ask yourself what is the real reason I'm not learning to cook? There's a deeper reason why you don't care what you put into your body. What's the real reason I'm not doing these workouts? There's a deeper reason why you can't make time to move your body. What's the real reason I'm giving up when I get discouraged? Is it fear of judgment from others? What's the real reason I won't learn time management. Does it bother you to put time towards learning a new skill you have to admit you're not good at? You know it, I know it and everyone else knows that there's a deeper reason but it's on you to look inside yourself and figure out what's holding you back.
Stop blaming external sources and circumstances and find a way to change the way you think and get it done! Anyone and everyone is capable of doing this but the world isn't set up to make it easy because they have everything set up for instant gratification and fitness doesn't work like that.
Find out what is really holding you back, change your mindset consciously, make a plan, stick to it, be consistent and be patient. EVERYONE CAN DO THIS!
Picture it like this, your fitness journey is you building your house. Each day you wake up is an opportunity to add one brick to that house. Each day you sell yourself short, you lose a brick to that house. What kind of house do you want to be in?
If I can help in any way, don't hesitate to reach out! I'm happy to help in any way I can!